Attempts At Adulthood

With ONE SMALL ADDITION *hits head*


How could I be so careless as to leave these off the list?

*          *          *


My mother insists on using the teething ring she keeps in the freezer, but I prefer these, allowing me to soothe my gums while also inadvertently controlling the television.

*          *          *

Thanks to everyone who reminded me that yes, my son also constantly grabs at the remote.  And human hair and Christmas lights.  And my “neck skin.”   Thanks for all the kind feedback and good luck to everyone in your respective child-wrangling.

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28 Responses to “With ONE SMALL ADDITION *hits head*”

  1. olivesinba

    The neck skin! How could you forget the neck skin? The number one reason to keep nails trimmed, it is my son´s favorite oh-shit handle when being transported too…

  2. Jessica

    My daughter’s list also includes my teeth. And tongue. And lips. Basically my entire mouth. I can’t even begin to count the number of times her little Wolverine claws have gotten my gums.

  3. Angie

    Your blog has me doubled over laughing! Our daughter is almost a year old-as I read the Santa list, I kept laughing/yelling “Yes! OMG Yes!” This is spot-on! Loved the butternut soup recipe too. We would totally be friends if you lived in Indiana. Great site! If laughter is the best medicine, I’m the healthiest girl in town now!

  4. Angel

    You are hilarious! I love that you added about the remote controls. After my husband and I read the original letter, we talked about our 14-month-olds attraction to the remotes. We even gave him a REAL one (minus batteries) and he could NOT have cared less. Thanks for the much needed laughter!

  5. frugoal

    I don’t have kids BUT I am a crazy cat lady and I feel my cat Orville does all of these. Should I be concerned?

  6. Sarah

    Hahaha!! My kids loved the remotes. I even found a toy one that was soooo realistic looking. But did my daughter like it? No!!! Like she was some sort of toy detector or something.

  7. Lioness

    Oh and mums jewellery, earrings, necklaces, my youngest favourite was to grab my bra strap and pull :S, ending in somewhat awkward moments…

    Joys of motherhood 🙂

  8. Ellie

    Just found your blog and really like it! Thanks for all the funny posts. I have a 2 year old and a 5 month old and have the “mom” haircut too. Also, my baby is obsessed with my iphone as well. And the remote.

  9. Toshia

    Gabe loved to empty the wipes box. Pulling each one out one-by-one was his fav.

  10. Elizabeth Hamilton

    Neck skin? My kid keeps trying to burrow back into the womb through my navel. She loves burying her face in the postpartum donut of loose skin around my navel and pinching it viciously while slobbering.

  11. Kelly

    If you’re thinking that you could take the batteries out of the remote and let them play with it then, forget it, I don’t know how, but they know that something is wrong and will scream. Same goes for giving them the VCR remote. If it’s not the TV remote (WHILE you are watching TV) then forget it!


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