Attempts At Adulthood

A Breakdown of your Child’s Eating Patterns

(Click graphs to enlarge.)

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SEVEN STARS FARM ORGANIC PLAIN WHOLE MILK YOGURT

yogurt two

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ORGANIC ROASTED BEETS

pie chart roasted beets

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TRADER JOE’S BRAND CHEERIOS

cheerios three

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PEAS FROM LOCAL FARMER’S MARKET (ALSO ORGANIC)

peas three

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WHATEVER YOU WERE EATING

pie chart whatevetr you were eating

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COOKIE/CUPCAKE/CHOCOLATE/ANYTHING CONTAINING REFINED SUGAR

pie chart cookie

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32 Responses to “A Breakdown of your Child’s Eating Patterns”

  1. Julie

    I love this blog so much.
    Reading this at work (day 4 of being back after 1 year of maternity leave) and I feel like I’m back home.

    Reply
  2. The CoutureWithACause.com Blog

    Absolutely brilliant!!! Love all your posts, read every last one of your blogs. I’m a mother of 4 kids…the 18year old acts like your baby, so I’m still your demographic!! Lol

    Raechel Taylor Founder, Social Order http://www.SocialOrderMedia.com Branding and Marketing for the Restaurant & Hospitality Industry

    Ph | 310.699.4900 Fx | 310.496. 1491 Sk | taylor.cdo Tw | mssocialorder Li | raechelTaylor

    Sent from my iPhone. It misspells to imbearasse mee. Pleaze eggskyooz typos.

    >

    Reply
  3. JO

    One for my daughter that could be added: How much of the expensive organic yogurt she fills her mouth with storing in her cheeks like a chipmunk, and then motorboating in mommy’s face blowing it everywhere. Apparently if you ask her, it’s hilarious.

    Reply
  4. T. Dawn

    This is so creatively funny… And so very true with a little one. My little guy will come flying towards me with the quickness if he sees me even go near the “junk drawer”.

    Reply
  5. Lenora

    I take time no matter what I am doing to read these because they are so funny. My kids are long grown (well, let’s say I am no longer feeding them with a spoon) but these days are unforgettable. Thanks for making them so fun to remember.

    Reply
  6. pensitivity101

    Excellent! I can so identify with the cookies and the dog….. my niece loved cheesy puff crisps, would squish them in her fist and then either shove them up the dog’s nose, or her own! Lovely!!

    Reply
  7. d_girl

    There is a long list of foods I refuse to feed my 2 yo if she’s wearing an outfit I like: beets, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries (any berry will end up sqished by child and sat upon, sometimes also licked but not always, dog addicted to strawberries but has skin allergy), gravey, ketchup, tomato sauce, etc. of course she adores all these foods (except berries which have a variable acceptance rate). I gave up on cheerios.
    Love your blogs.

    Reply
  8. Ferreted Heart

    I must be blessed. My baby eats everything I give her. 70% of the stuff is mashed and/or pureed foods that she devours. The other is stuff she eats on her own like bread, fruit, puffs, chicken, cheese, turkey, and Cheerios. She LOVES Cheerios. I’ll give her a handful in her playpen and she’ll eat them all, even get on all fours and look under all her toys until she’s eaten them all. I even saw her look under her leg at one point. I have a piglet on my hands. That said, I’m sure I’ll have my hands full when she’s a toddler. The reckoning is coming, I’m just not sure when.

    Reply
  9. Jennifer

    How true this is. My daughter acts like she is STARVING then flings food everywhere, feeds the dog, sticks her fingers in it then up her nose , in her hair then tries to feed it back to me. As soon as my husband and I get out the ice cream she runs to us with her mouth open like a baby bird doing MORE in sign language!
    She’s no dummy…

    Reply
  10. Jaymie

    Omg, thank you for this. The most interest in food my kid has shown is in french fries that we put almost out of reach like she wasn’t supposed to have them!

    Reply
  11. Heather

    My son is a month younger, and I consistently read this blog as a harbinger of future destruction. Absolutely tone true. Thanks to you I can laugh twice!

    Reply
  12. jethrien

    I’d add a category to “whatever you were eating”–at least 10% is forcefed back to me. He particularly likes shoving whole fruit in the vague direction of my mouth, or awkwardly tipping cups at my face. (My kid’s almost the exact same age.)

    Reply
  13. Liz

    Truth! I’d have to add a chart for my daughter labeled “inedible.” For a time she was fond of eating rug threads the cat pulled up. Team effort!

    Reply
    • bluesabriel

      I’m 99% sure my daughter also ate a rug thread a cat pulled up last night, based on the expressions on her face as I ran toward her yelling “WHAT DID YOU EAT?!”. By the time I got to her, it was gone, and she happily crawled away. ::sigh:: But the tasty mango chunks on her high chair tray? Squished, then thrown away.

      Reply
  14. bluesabriel

    I wish my 11-month-old consumed as much as your child does in these charts. Our charts for finger foods right now are mostly “mushed on tray”, “dropped”, “touch to lips then put back on tray while laughing”, “stared at suspiciously”, and, finally “thrown away”.

    Unless it is a Gerber Puff. Or looks like a Gerber Puff. Then she’ll eat them all and excitedly sign “more” in and endless loop.

    Reply
  15. Curiosity

    Your writing never fails to make me laugh. Figured it was about time I transitioned from creepy lurking stalker to creepy lurking known reader.

    Reply
  16. lizzieparsnips

    My baby ate a crayon today – I immediately thought of you and your blog. Loving your take on parenthood.

    Reply
  17. klrkatsmeow

    Love it! My 1 year old will usually eat anything- this includes having a meltdown when I won’t share my food with him promptly after I finish feeding him lunch. And the Cheerios- I swear he throws half of them on the floor for purpose of eating them later during playtime.

    Reply

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