Attempts At Adulthood

Why Having a Baby Reminds me of Garfield Minus Garfield

I love the site Garfield Minus Garfield.

If you don’t know the site Garfield minus Garfield  it’s a website run by a guy named Dan Walsh who takes Garfield comic strips and digitally erases Garfield from them.   The reason I love Garfield minus Garfield is that when you erase Garfield from the Garfield comic strip, what you get is three panels of Jon Arbuckle interacting with nothing, looking like a complete lunatic.

That being said, I’ve taken a good long look at my own schedule, and if you were to erase all evidence of my having a baby, nothing I do makes any sense either.

 1.

garfield theuglyvolvo 6

If this panel were more true to life I would’ve drawn nine additional people on the sidewalk, all of whom give me weird looks every time I lose my shit over seeing a bus.

 

 2.

garfield theuglyvolvo 5

 No time like 3 in the morning to wake up, sing Jimmy Buffet songs while rocking back and forth and then immediately go back to sleep.

3.

garfield theuglyvolvo 1

 Step 1.  Cut up banana!

 Step 2.  DECLARE BANANAS TO BE DELICIOUS!

 Step 3.  Discard!

 

4.

garfield theuglyvolvo 7

 90 Minutes of reading GO DOG, GO!  Why settle in with the latest Jonathan Franzen novel when you could continually read a 72 page book filled with prepositions and adjectives ?

5.

garfield theuglyvolvo 2

OMG WATER

 

6.

garfield theuglyvolvo 4

 SERIOUSLY, SOMETIMES I JUST NEED IT TO STOP.

 

and last but not least…

garfield theuglyvolvo 3

 

Because if you’re ever like, “Hey, how much of your time is spent sitting in public parks, enthusiastically clapping?” a quick estimate would be, “Half.”

 

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If you enjoyed this post, sign up in the sidebar to follow the blog, or like The Ugly Volvo on Facebook and be privy to a steady stream of fairly non-offensive baby-related material!  Or follow me on Twitter so that you can wonder why I don’t use my twitter account more often.  (I really do mean to, I just always forget it’s there!)  

And if you’ve never read it, go spend some time checking out Garfield Minus Garfield, which is also wonderful.  If you’ve never checked out the original Garfield comic strip, I will assume you are a baby goat living in a cave in the Himalayas.  How cool for you that you have internet access somehow!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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40 Responses to “Why Having a Baby Reminds me of Garfield Minus Garfield”

  1. Mariana

    OMG, the strip with the bus! How many times I find myself screaming delightedly “A firetruck!” only to realize the kid is not with me…

    Reply
  2. Diana Obando

    “OMG, WATER!”…. jajajajaja… so funny, reminds me and my baby!… Everyday is the same with my dogs… I swear one day he will start talking and will say “MOM, I already know the dogs for a year and a half now, stop showing them to me!”….

    Greetings from the Caribbean, I love your blog! 🙂

    Reply
  3. skwishface

    Mine are in K and 1st grade, so I get the baby-erase effect every time I set them loose on a playground. I’m that madwoman on the bench, yelling out warnings to NO ONE AT ALL.

    My favorite is the splashpad. “PULL UP YOUR SWIMSUIT. UP. PULL IT UP.” Could be talking to anybody. Or nobody. But everybody checks their suit.

    Reply
  4. Jess

    I am in tears. It was very NSFW, because it’s so obvious I’m not working.

    Reply
  5. Sandy

    I’ve had good luck with the touch and feel books so far, but the writing could use a little umph. Go Dog, Go! sounds a little better actually, but I never get to read a book through, because it’s all about him turning the pages himself. I pretend I’m a machine and read half a line then change when he turns the page. Sometimes, if I read to him from one of my books he gets bored and goes away.

    Alternatively, how do we decide which items in this life to be excited about to the baby? There are millions of things to choose from to point out to a baby, but we always point at fire trucks and squirrels. Why those?

    Look, it’s your daddy’s computer! Why don’t you play with it while he’s over there enjoying a non-children’s book instead of participating in family activities?

    Reply
  6. Kerry P

    That was so funny. Like laugh out loud funny. And that’s rare. Now take away the computer and you just have me sitting here, staring at a wall laughing…

    Reply
  7. Natasha

    I don’t have children, but having been a nanny I can completely relate to this. SO FUNNY!

    Reply
  8. Tempest Rose

    I’m so excited to be following someone who got Freshly Pressed — I feel so “in the know” having already read, liked, and laughed out loud about this post! Congrats, by the way=]

    Reply
  9. lullabycloud

    Hilarious! And so true. I’m quickly forgetting how to interact with other adults. The other day my husband got his hands dirty and I automatically started wiping them down. He says “what are you doing?…” I really didn’t realize that I had even done it until he asked. Haha.

    Reply
  10. memoiranonymous

    If you enjoy this post???? I loved it!
    Cut up banana
    DECLARE BANANAS TO BE DELICIOUS
    Then discard it….. Lol…. Cracked me up

    Reply
  11. christineespeer

    Very funny!!

    I lived one of these early in my parent-life, walking to work (alone). I spotted a cute chubby squirrel and without thinking squealed, “Oooh! There’s a big fat squirrel. What a nice big squirrel!” No kid present. Just a weirdo loving that squirrel…

    Reply

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